On Love

On Love

Love is the holy concept that achieved through relationship. Without relationship we have no proof of love. that’s the reason most of us fear to be alone, lonely; and we all carefully pick our companion (people) and friends, and animals as our pets that we feel the warmth of living. Even the hermits in the mountain need their companion, the fellow pilgrims, and, warriors together huddle down in the trench pray.

Of course, Love is the name of God that’s how Christians firmly believe, I think Muslim and Jewish brothers and sisters also believe that. That reminds me Jesus commandment “Love God and Love thy neighbor” which the neighbor also should include animal and our environment. Jesus also said “God is Good.” For atheists, people also do believe love, probably the definition more close to Ancient Greek: human relationship through sexual passion, that’s romance or lust; deep friendship, pleasure in items and social activity, respect fellow human being, lifetime companionship, and self-love. Western people often express love by hand shake, hug and saying the word. Chinese do not say love to their love ones, it feels foreign and fake saying the character, and often it’s expressed through work or gift, daughters buy their old moms gold rings, taking care old moms, moms prepare meal for their adult children on weekend, or bring their moms to family outing, buying special sweet or cookies… so Love is concept like Zen practice, practiced through habitual work instead speech. There are many western people also take care of family, old parents, sibling’s kids… there’s really not much of different, like Tolstoy said: “all happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

I remember St. Paul’s famous phrase “Love is Patience...” that’s how we always should be patient with whom we love. Like our kids, and husband,wife,partner, no matter how special he or she is, in the end it’s the living, kitchen, bathroom, car, kids, money, issues… all that how we try to barely breathe above the surface. Sure, we all want Mr. Perfect and Ms. Awesome but to others they are all Okay, and after a few month if you are not lucky, or a few years they all truly down grade to Mr./Ms. Okay I guess. The 2 minute whale song in the bathroom does not sound amusing anymore, it’s actually getting longer and annoying; the happy hour schedule already switch from Catholic to Baptist calender, that’s once a week to once a month. Yet, we time after time recollect that sweet moment we fall in love, that special moment we feel there’s sense of purpose of our existence, we need to exist to provide, to support, to do things to do better for her or him, to make her or him happy, satisfied and proud, because we truly feel we love someone, our existence gains living purpose, we cast our freedom into the fire, we do not waver nor pussyfoot; and the feeling of being loved by someone, by knowing that we are self-confident and have high self-esteem. We have value because we are loved by someone, that someone special. The shit is truly changing our course.

Love also is science, a social science, just like living that we learn as we grow, it matures with age. In order to love we need to gain the ability to love, that ability comes from wisdom and understanding of love, and that wisdom is nurtured or educated in a loving environment, loving parents, loving family, a caring society, a good neighborhood. People who raise their kids have more knowledge about life value, have experience in communication and education, build life habit to achieve academic and physical fitness for a long road. The parenting family must have basic standard to provide necessity to children, without a good financial base, love does not come easy, the burden and the stress simply crush the family time of love. Bread cannot be replaced by love, but bread only don’t make us alive either. We need both to exist.

Love gives us physical body by the union of our biological father and mother. Our body is their product, and our instrument to materialize and continue the practice of this concept, that’s how we are physically here; and our spiritual being is also an instrument to make our village better, that’s our society, the world. So that’s the answer to our question: Who are we? Why we are here? and Why we continue to exist? Because we have to be there for someone who love us, also take care them for the love reason.

Individual who only loves himself and his family is incomplete and impotent. He must carry out his responsibility to love his society, includes environment, animal, friends, neighbors and relatives. Everyone has two duties to love him/herself and the society. Some politicians say you have children that’s why you want to get involved into politics because you want to leave a legacy to your children. True that, but over half numbers of politicians only believe and work for their own family legacy not national or world legacy. When we have an overpopulated, highly competitive, extreme capitalist environment, we don’t have our time and we can’t focus our energy to love our family and society, all we do is to compete and fight to survive. kids must study like Chinese kids now, self-torture and self-mutilate their mind and character daily in the library with their books to hopefully be rewarded a high spot in the job market, not to be leftover, when they finally get ahead of the rushing herd, become a running part of the consumption machine, they've got to hurry up the make-shift nest and set their kids up. We are lost in the heat of competition. Winning is first, the rest is last.

Self-love isn’t easy. We all have some rough edges brought up or kind of broken in some way. There are things we lost dearly and things can never be fixed. Consolations, shrink sessions, or support groups… don’t work, after all that, we still have to deal with it alone somehow. But whatever it is eating us making us sad and depressed, feeling helpless and hopeless... we should always know two things: you are not the most miserable person in the world, you are not; and no one bears that responsibility to make you happy, Only You, Yourself.

The following is my favorite Bible verses on love， but we should not hold anyone (especially our love ones) to live by the Bible's Love standard, that's just too cruel, it's not love; nor anyone should hold him/herself that standard, that's just too hard! to follow. I am not very patient person, so I choose trying to endure people's impatience. Crumbs of love is still love, I guess.

From Bible:

- Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies -
- Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.-

圣经：

- 知识是叫人自高自大，惟有爱心能造就人。-
- 我若能說萬人的方言，並天使的話語，卻沒有愛，我就成了鳴的鑼，響的鈸一般。我若有先知講道之能，也明白各樣的奧祕，各樣的知識，而且有全備的信，叫我能夠移山，卻沒有愛，我就算不得什麼。我若將所有的賙濟窮人，又捨己身叫人焚燒，卻沒有愛，仍然於我無益。愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈；愛是不嫉妒；愛是不自誇，不張狂，不做害羞的事，不求自己的益處，不輕易發怒，不計算人的惡，不喜歡不義，只喜歡真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。愛是永不止息。先知講道之能終必歸於無有；說方言之能終必停止；知識也終必歸於無有。-