ohhhh, a touchy subject.
it's general to believe that marriage provides happiness, consummation of man and woman, or two partners, or 3, huh, but how comes marriage is a painstaking effort for some people that get ending not one survived another, but both sign the dissolution agreement after stipulation paper sign for contest or uncontested matrimonial relationship?
of course, we know love is blind and once we fall in love, we think two together can make world go around, and the court law clerks seeing me hold a stack of paper in correct order, 18 forms about 50 pages, she said: "well, hope this is the last time I see you, and I said to her, oh, no, this is not for me, it's my job." and she replied: "well, you can fall in love but never propose." but I think when we fall in love, then it's all too late, you have to go all the way, because you are too deep in the game.
Marriage and Children change people, some people do ask me why I look young, well, because I refuse to grow up. also the economy is huge factor for me to choose that particular path into the woods, poor young couple get marry is like two to play naked and afraid on cable tv, and a youngster to get marry is like a boy carry a shotgun into woods, shooting a bear or himself is about same percentage outcome, only rich and powerful get marry is union of corporation estate, if the contract go south then they can afford to break up.
Ancient time in China, marriage is state's affair, this duke sends his daughter to that lord's son, and the pack is made by the emperor, too many cases listed in the Spring and Autumn Records, that's how high ruling class maintain their relationship and rank, but that method never really stop the disputes among them, wars break out all the time. Also one note that the ruling class of every nation require their citizens to marry too, so male 17 and female 15 must be wedded, otherwise their parents will be fined and the local elders will arrange a marriage for the young people, because only population will keep up the crop worker, the farm produce, and tax, and in war time the poor will hold spear to die serving their lords and dukes.
My father urges me to get married, "Just marry someone with similar situation" that is his advice, his sense is that two persons suffer together is better than one suffers alone. I asked my mom "do you want to go out with a guy like me?" she replied "No". Smart she is. of course, you cannot live with man who carries an abyss on his shoulder, dwells like David hiding in a cave never getting out, and cobwebs in his basement ceiling, and fake skeletons by the corners to scare the new tenants. also, when American kids willing to move back living with their parents since last century? you never thought that would happen. and in this economy shape that House, Car, Children means two persons must have good career, but good career means good educations, means student loan debts to pay in 10-20 years, and kids grow up, mortgage the just paid house for their tuition. Happiness means price of pain and stress. In fairyland, there are two types of marriage, prince and princess, and old fisherman with his nagging wife live in piss pot. I like Shakespeare's quote, "Marry your mind." O Mind, who knows what's on your mind?! but only to thyself it be true.
most immigrant couples end divorce, they cannot handle the new environment, their children experience new perspectives about parenting, childhood, and marriage, they grow up either yelling at their parents for channeling everything or move away, away from their childhood pain.
For me, an unreal poet always draws marriage according to sonnets and diamond commercial takes, that's too poetic, in real life on Earth, happiness is a bottle of cheap beer with a book for the evening, why we talk to our priest for an hour and he never mention about stack of divorce forms we must read thru and file if the deal go bad? we should have our high school kids file divorce forms in their classroom, so when they think they fall in love, they know it's not the feeling of singing and dancing in the rain. it only looks good on tv, because we only see the highlights.
of course there are role model couples grow old together, that when they are old they still have passion for a fight, shouting match for 10 minutes, but usually it just ends in 2 lines exchange, and next time they argue about a misplacing newspaper or milk carton that's 1 week later.
Last, let's understand "Marriage Problem" from linguistic perspective, the "Problem" comes right after the "Marriage". :)
oh, I am brave.
